Dear friend,

No two people experience Alzheimer’s disease the same way, and there’s no one "right" approach to caregiving. In honor of November as National Caregiver Month and National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, we talked with Valerie Ferrero, 62, about the challenges and joys of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.

In 2008 Valerie’s husband, Lee, then 61, was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s. The diagnosis brought about significant changes in their lives. Valerie works in a college admissions office, and is now the sole provider. "Lee had to retire once we knew he had Alzheimer’s disease. Neither of us wanted it - he was a workaholic. He didn’t feel he needed to retire. In fact, he didn’t really believe he had Alzheimer’s".

At first, it was a struggle

Valerie soon realized she needed help to deal with the diagnosis and its ramifications. "At first, I struggled a little," she reflects. "I really didn’t know what was expected." She met with a counselor, who gently but persistently encouraged her to contact the Alzheimer’s Association and join a support group.

"I’m not a joiner," Valerie notes. "I’ve always handled things myself. But I finally met with the regional director of the Alzheimer’s Association, who was extremely helpful and put me at ease. She said she wanted to meet my husband to assess which support group would best meet our needs. She also made a point of describing all the local resources and services available to us."

For the first time since the diagnosis, Valerie felt that she wasn’t alone. "Now I take time off from work every month so we can attend a support group. I find myself sharing, learning and helping others. Lee was appointed to a one-year term on the Alzheimer’s Association’s Early-Stage Advisory Group, and his involvement allows me to connect with spouses in similar circumstances."

Reaching out is key

Valerie found that being flexible and making adjustments "is critical to our survival. I’ve also found that educating myself about the disease helps. So does realizing that we really only have control over ourselves and how we react and respond to something."

One of the most important things Valerie says she learned from the Alzheimer’s Association is acceptance. "I try to accept my husband as he is now and not as he was in the past," she explains."I also try to remember that I’m not perfect and it’s okay to ask for help when I need it. Being able to reach out to others and avail myself of Association programs and services has been key to keeping balance in my life."

Please visit our Caregivers section for information on the many caregiving programs and services we offer, and share it with others via email, Twitter or Facebook.

Many thanks,

Angela Geiger Chief Strategy Officer

PS: In recognition of National Caregiver Month, we are offering our discount coupon for our Caregiver Notebook – a valuable resource in helping caregivers. Visit alz.org/caregivernotebook and enter the coupon code, CARE2011, at checkout to receive your discount.