My only memory of my great-grandmother is in a bed in a memory care facility. I was seven years old when I met her, but she did not know me because she had Alzheimer’s. Because of what happened to her, I knew from an early age what Alzheimer’s was and how it could impact a family. Even so, I could not understand how it would affect my family when my grandmother developed dementia years later.

Throughout my entire life, my mother and I were incredibly close with my grandmother. It was an annual tradition for the three of us to go to the mall together at the holidays. My grandma loved Christmas and she loved our Christmas tree. She loved to spend time with us all year round. She liked to wear pretty clothes and always took a lot of pride in her appearance. I used to call her “Gramcracker” and she seemed to like that! Besides my parents, my grandparents were the only family I ever had. But then dementia changed everything.

My grandparents live quite far from where I went to college, so I usually got to see them around the holidays. New Year’s Day in 2023 was the last holiday I got to spend with her. We started 2023 by watching football, which my family really likes. My grandma was happy because her favorite player in that game was playing well and they won the game. I did not realize at the time that that game would mean so much to me later. It was one of the last times I saw her smile before she got dementia.

It was April of 2023. I was still at school and it was complete chaos. When my grandma got dementia, there was no gradual decline. There was no goodbye. I had just gotten an email from her telling me that she loved me. Within days, she could not use email because she did not understand how. My mom and I got to them as quickly as we could, but my grandma did not understand why we were not there. It got to the point where she could not function. She could not feed herself, bathe herself, dress herself. It was cruel to see someone who always looked so beautiful not even know how to brush her hair.

My grandparents live in a very rural area, which made resources incredibly limited. There is one hospital that is an hour away. The doctor assumed she had dementia because of her age and because her mother had it. There was no formal testing ever done to confirm that. Perhaps what was more difficult given where they live is the lack of resources. There were virtually no options for in-home care and barely any assisted living facilities. The facilities that were available were either incredibly expensive or hardly livable. Given the lack of resources in their area, my mom decided to call the Alzheimer’s Association’s 24/7 hotline for support. This was a resource we used numerous times throughout the process of trying to figure out my grandmother’s care. Every time we called, we were greeted with support and empathy. We were also given a lot of helpful information that helped us be able to figure out what we could do given the limited resources in the area.

Guided by the help we received from the Alzheimer’s Association, we eventually found an assisted living facility with memory care for my grandmother. Unfortunately, that facility did not adequately take care of her and we had to bring her back home. Reaching out to the Alzheimer’s Association again, we were able to locate someone available for in-home care for my grandmother. Given how her dementia had progressed, in-home care was absolutely necessary. My grandmother was afraid of developing Alzheimer’s after seeing how it changed her mother, my grandmother. Her fears became her reality and I cannot imagine how scared she must have been when she realized her memory was declining.

If there is anything positive I can take away from this, it is the importance of giving back. The Alzheimer’s Association was there for us when we needed help and support. They are also dedicated to a world without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia. This is a world I would love to see and I believe can be a reality with research dedicated toward finding a care. So, as I go throughout my life, I will continue to fight for a world without dementia and cherish the memories I had with my grandmother. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone, the last time you will see them smile, the last time you will hug them. But what we can do is cherish the time with our loved ones and say, ‘I love you.’