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My Sweet Melinda

My Sweet Melinda
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September 11, 2015
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Of the 5 million people in this country living with Alzheimer’s, about 200,000 have younger-onset/early-onset Alzheimer’s. It is not an “old person’s” disease. Some people are diagnosed in their 30s, 40s or 50s. One of them was my wife – my sweet Melinda.

Melinda is the reason I Walk to End Alzheimer’s.

Melinda was once a trial lawyer, a scratch baker, an excellent cook, needlepointer, crafter and seamstress. These talents, along with her incredible intellect, engaging smile, laughter and her love for her family made her a wonderful mother and wife.

bruce3

In 2010, Melinda was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer's at the age of 54. We were shocked and frightened.  For whatever reason – which I cannot explain but am thankful for – Melinda did not seem to dwell on her diagnosis. She remained cheerful in the face of the disease.

Melinda was in an adult day center four days per week between April and August of 2014 so that I could continue to work to support our family and retain our health insurance coverage. On September 2, 2014, I made the hardest decision of my life, determining that she needed to be placed in a long-term memory care facility.

Younger-onset Alzheimer’s is life-shattering. Younger families have children who see the progression of the disease, and therefore experience the ongoing loss of a parent. Breadwinners in the prime of their careers struck with the disease become unable to work, and if they haven’t worked long enough, they won’t be entitled to disability benefits. Families in the prime of their lives are destroyed by a disease that never takes a day off.

bruce2I Walk with the hope that other families will not have this fate.

The impact on our sons Matt and Ben is impossible to measure. Despite the loss of the mother they once knew, they adapted, rallying to help both her and I deal with the day-to-day challenges we faced.  Thankfully, this has not impacted their education. Matt graduated with the highest honors and found employment with a Big Four CPA firm.  Ben is succeeding at the School of Engineering at Mizzou.  I hope they are able to take away from this journey the love, patience and devotion I have tried to give to their mom and that their experiences will make them better people, as I know mine has made me a better husband, father and person.

I Walk in memory of Melinda.

My sweet Melinda passed away on January 14, 2015. I miss her terribly. I believe she is free from this insidious disease that shows no mercy, and that she is now at peace.

Since Melinda’s diagnosis in 2010, I have immersed myself in Alzheimer’s science and research, attending symposia featuring eminent scientists and physicians whose mission is to find the cause and, ultimately, the cure for this dreaded disease.

Melinda’s Memory Warriors Walk to raise money for research and a cure.

There is an oncoming avalanche facing our society. Of the top 10 causes of death in this country, only Alzheimer's cannot be prevented, cured or slowed. The thought of losing one's memory and ultimately one's dignity is frightening. By participating in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, we are letting the world know that now is the time to increase the awareness of a disease that will cost our government trillions of dollars in the coming decades if a bruce1treatment or cure is not found.

This is a real crisis for our nation and for the world as a whole. The avalanche is out there, and it will be here before we realize it. Join me today by lending your voice and your legs to the cause in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s – for me, my sweet Melinda, and all of those who live with this devastating disease.

 

About the Author:  Bruce Friedman Walks on team Melinda’s Memory Warriors. He was a featured speaker at the Alzheimer's Association St. Louis Chapter’s 2015 annual “An Affair to Remember" gala fundraiser and was recently nominated for a position on the National Advisory Council on Alzheimer's Research, Care and Services. Bruce was selected in 2014 as the Best Lawyers’ Lawyer of the Year in St. Louis in the area Family Law.

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