Talking to Kids About Alzheimer's and Dementia

Alzheimer’s disease impacts every member of the family, including children. If you are a parent, grandparent or teacher, you may be looking for ways to support a child or teenager who is dealing with the diagnosis of someone they love. The Alzheimer's Association has information to help you understand what a child may feel and recommendations for having conversations about Alzheimer's. Also, different types of dementia can cause varying symptoms that develop at different ages, so it's helpful to tailor your approach to the specific situation.

Each child will react differently to someone who is living with Alzheimer's or another dementia. The young people in your life might have questions about what is happening. It’s important to answer these questions openly and honestly. It will also help to share with them the changes the disease might bring, now and in the future.

Feelings and reactions

The degree to which children and teens are affected by the disease depends on who has it — a parent or grandparent, relative or friend. Other factors include how close the child or teen is to the person and where the person lives (in the same home, assisted living or nursing home, out-of-state, etc.).

Kids may feel:

• Sad about changes in a loved one’s personality and behavior.
• Curious about how people get dementia.
• Confused or afraid about why the person behaves differently.
• Worried that the disease is contagious and that they will get it.
• Worried that their parents might develop the disease.
• Angry and frustrated by the need to repeat activities or questions.
• Guilty for getting angry or being short-tempered with the person.
• Jealous and resentful because of the increased amount of time and attention that is given to the person with Alzheimer’s.
• Embarrassed to have friends or other visitors to the house.
• Unsure how to behave around the person.

Kids may exhibit their emotions in ways you may not easily recognize. They may:

• Withdraw from or lose patience with the person with dementia.
• Express physical pain, such as a stomachache or headache.
• Perform poorly in school.
• Spend more time away from home.
• Stop inviting friends to the house.
• Argue more with others, especially those providing care for the person with Alzheimer’s.

Ways to help kids cope

Create opportunities for your child to express feelings and make sure they are getting enough support. Set aside a regular time to be together. Activities or outings can create great opportunities for a child to open up. If your child expresses feelings of helplessness, work together to find a way to get involved in the care process. Other ways to help them cope include:
 

• Offer comfort and support.
• Provide opportunities for them to express their feelings, such as keeping a journal.
• Let them know their feelings are normal.
• Learn about the disease with them and encourage them to ask questions.
• Respond honestly to questions.
• Use these tips for resolving family conflicts.

  Activities to enjoy with a loved one with dementia

  Spending time with a family member or friend living with Alzheimer's can be meaningful and fun. Our activities list offers ideas for children, teens and families.

  Find an Activity

Common questions

Encourage a child who's learning about dementia to ask questions. Answer honestly and in a way that is easy to understand, using terms that match their level of understanding. The Alzheimer's Association provides some suggested answers to questions a child may ask about Alzheimer's: 

Q: What is Alzheimer’s disease? 
A: Alzheimer’s is not just memory loss; it’s a disease that affects how the brain works and how a person thinks. Over time, it also changes the way a person’s body functions. 

Q: Will my mom get Alzheimer’s, too? Will I?
A: Most people who develop Alzheimer’s are older. Many scientists believe that there’s a greater chance of getting the disease if someone in your family has it, but not everyone who’s related will get it. 

Q: Why does my grandpa call me by my dad’s name? 
A: Changes inside your grandfather’s brain may make it difficult for him to remember things like your name. This is not your fault or his. You may remind him of your dad at your age. Try not to correct him, since he may find it confusing.

Q: Will my grandma die from Alzheimer’s? 
A: Alzheimer's and other dementias can be unpredictable. Sometimes a person lives a long time with dementia. Sometimes they don't. It's hard to know what will happen. What we do know is that Alzheimer's worsens over time, which means that your grandma's health will not improve.

Q: Why does my aunt keep asking the same question? 
A: People with Alzheimer’s often remember events that happened years ago, but forget things that happened yesterday or even a few minutes ago. Your aunt may not remember that she already asked a question. Try to be patient and respond, even if you’ve already done so. 

Q: How can I help my grandpa? 
A: Simply being there for your grandfather can show you care. Even if communication is difficult, love and kindness can be felt in the moment. 

Q: Will my uncle get better? 
A: Your uncle will have both good and bad days. There are new treatments that can help some people in the early stages of the disease. There isn't a cure for Alzheimer's right now, but scientists are working really hard to find one.

Q: Will I get Alzheimer’s if I spend time with my aunt? 
A: Alzheimer’s is not contagious. You can’t catch it from other people like you can the flu or chickenpox. 

Q: What are some things we can do together? 
A: Simple activities like listening to music, setting the table, reading a book and looking at photographs are great ways to spend time with the person with Alzheimer’s. 

Q: Will my grandma forget me? 
A: As your grandmother’s brain changes, she may forget many things, but she will still be able to feel your love.

Videos for parents and teachers

Hear first-person accounts from a parent and a grantparent as they share their experiences talking to kids about Alzheimer's.